What is self-awareness and why does it matter? Self-awareness is when you are aware of your motives, your character, your desires, and why you do the things you do. It’s an understanding of yourself.
The reasons why it matters is because you will find yourself doing things you don’t want to do, you’ll find yourself in positions you don’t want to be in, unhealthy relationships. Or it will lead to suppression which causes anxiety and depression and addiction. So you want to be aware so you don’t wind up in unhealthy positions. it is not only important to be aware but also to identify your feelings and work through them.
We all have the answers to our own problems, it just takes the right questions to help get to our subconscious. The way you can do this is by journaling, it helps get to the root. A lot of times we have all these thoughts that are just jumbled in our minds so getting it out can be helpful as it is right there in front of you and you can put it together.
So it is important to do what I call self-check-ins. So at the end of the day, you check in with yourself and you ask yourself, ” How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What kinds of thoughts was I having? What happened today?” When you ask yourself questions it helps lead you to greater understanding and seeing what is going on in your mind. You want to understand what thoughts you are having to cause you to feel the way you are feeling.
It’s important that you are able to sit through that feeling and get comfortable with it. You need to allow yourself to feel whatever feeling is coming out. Accept that you are going to have negative emotions. Get comfortable with your negative emotions otherwise if you are suppressing or avoid they then turn into anxiety or depression. Your feelings have to be dealt with, they don’t just go away on their own. You need to feel them and accept that they are there.
So you need to validate your feelings. Let yourself know that it’s okay to have negative feelings or it is okay to be sad, you’re allowed. As children, our parents can make us feel like it is not okay to have feelings or we are not allowed to be negative. So that makes us feel invalidated or try to avoid them. You need to acknowledge your feelings and admit they’re there and it is okay!
After you have acknowledged and validated your feelings, it is really important that you then work through it with nurturing and self soothing language. You need to be able to pick yourself back up. So talk to that inner wounded child and say things you need to hear or wish you heard as a child. Things like” Everything’s going to be okay”. “I love you” .”I got you”. “I’m so proud of you.” “I’m so happy you’re here.” Things of that nature. And it is not just important that you say it but you feel that warmth and safety. That is the nurturing feeling that everything is okay.
The reason why this is important is because some people are able to admit their feelings and then try to keep it moving. But they did not actually work through that feeling and then they’re just stuck there with that negative emotion. You need to be able to pick yourself back up.
Now if you are having a lot of negative thoughts towards yourself you need to reaffirm the opposite. You want to reaffirm positive thoughts like you love and accept yourself flaws and all, you are worthy and deserving, etc. Whatever negative thought pattern you’re having you want to reaffirm the opposite. You want to release those good chemicals and change your beliefs.
When it comes to anxious thoughts you want to separate yourself from them. You want to disassociate yourself from them. You need to challenge them, ask yourself what proof you have as well as asking if it is a fact or insecurity. Catch your what-if thoughts as they are usually very fear based. Recognize that it is a fear-based thought. You can’t control what thoughts come but you can control the thoughts you entertain. I have a lot more info on anxiety here.
At the end, after you have expressed your feelings and worked through them, you now need to ask yourself what do you need? And then give yourself that need. Do you need to go talk to someone? Maybe you need to go for a drive? Or you need to confront a certain issue? It is important to identify and give yourself your needs because it is what improves your self worth and is a form of self love.
Journaling is a practice to get you started in self-awareness. But it is important to do this randomly throughout the day. Anytime you notice a negative moment arising that is when you need to use the tools above. Make sure to take your temperature and just ask yourself questions about what you’re feeling and what happened to cause this. Doing these things will help you be more aware of what is going on, how you’re feeling, and the things you want. And this will help you have less negativity, anxiety, and sadness.
What do you guys think? Leave it all in the comments below!
