This is the first part of a two part series. One on Traits of a high value woman and one on Traits of a high value man. The reason why they go together is because it is not only important to look for a high value person but it is equally important to be a high value person.
What exactly is a high value man or woman? A high value person is basically someone who is of high importance in ones life, high worth and deserving. Now that may sound snobish but it basically means it is someone important and worthy that you want to be and have in your life. How does someone become high value? They basically have the belief system they are which then causes them to behave as if they are.
When you are of high value, you are less likely to open the doors for manipulative toxic people and more likely to open the doors for healthy positive people. This may be a struggle for some as we get stuck in unhealthy habits like negative self talk and tolerating abusive behaviors.
When it comes to being a high value woman or man there are a lot of overlaps but there are also some differences. So what does a high value woman look like?
Someone who values themselves, values their health, their needs and the way they look/present themselves to others. Most people would say it is shallow or vain but taking care of your outer appearance means you care about how you feel about yourself and how you come across to others. The way you present yourself attracts like minded people. It also helps to make you feel good about yourself.
So showering regularly,taking care of your skin/hair like applying a little makeup, dressing nice, not slouching, eating better for your health, going to the doctor for check ups and even exercising regularly all fits into that category. Just doing self care things and putting an effort into you. These are all things for you to exude confidence and help make you a more approachable person.
This is an important one as it is hard to be in a relationship or have relationships when you are not self aware. Self awareness basically is when you are aware of your emotions, motives, desires and character. You know yourself. When you know yourself it is much easier to communicate, determine your needs, know your intentions, feel secure and trust in yourself.
Having Self awareness means more accountability and less blaming of others. Its more acceptance of herself and less rejection of her flaws. It is more understanding of her needs and less complaining. When you are self aware you are able to see where you may have gone wrong and you are more willing to fix it.
Being someone who is caring/supportive and having that in our life is vital for all humans. A woman that is caring and supportive is someone that does not put someone down but uplifts them. When a loved one tells you a dream of theirs, you encourage them rather than demotivate. You are comforting, attentive, a good listener and sensitive to others. It is important to have that balance of taking care of yourself as well as taking care of others.
A lot of the time as a woman we just want our significant other or even other people to do something because they thought of it and not because we had to tell them. We don’t want to feel like it was forced. This is the thinking that will lead to resentment and disappointment.
You will never get what you want by sitting around hoping the other person will do it. A high value woman will express what they want to say or what their needs are rather than playing games or giving hints. Communicate when something does not feel right, ask for what you want, be direct. No one will read our minds. Hoping that someone magically will do what you want without verbalizing it is a huge waste of time and energy.
And some of us struggle with the thought ” I don’t want to force them.” Understand that we can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do, they will do it if they want. You bringing up your feelings, thoughts and needs better directs the people in your life of your expectations. It is not forcing them but helping them to understand you. They will decide if it is something they want to do.
It is common to get lost in our daily lives and loose our selves in our relationships. We can become who other people want us to be or get too lost in investing in others we loose ourselves. This is especially common in relationships where we do almost everything with our partner and we don’t do things on our own or have our own hobbies and groups of friends. This is also something that happens when we become mothers.
When we loose ourselves we open up a doorway for depression, anxiety, resentment and abuse from others. That is why it is important that you do not just loose yourself. We need time to ourselves to gather our thoughts and have me time. Get to know who you are. What are things you like and dislike? How about the type of people you enjoy being around? What are your needs and wants?
Have things that are just for you. Join some groups or get involved with something you enjoy. Make sure you have a friend group you can be yourself around and spend some time with outside of your partner and kids.
Boundaries are fences that we put up to protect us from things that can hurt us or make us uncomfortable. When we don’t have boundaries or we let them down it leads to feelings of being disrespected, discomfort and again opens the doors to manipulative abusive people.
Boundaries help teach people what you like and don’t like. A high value woman sticks to her boundaries and does not just say them and tolerate things she does not want.
Healthy boundaries are deciding what you feel comfortable doing with your partner, how much you like to be touched, topics you feel comfortable talking about and with who, saying no when you don’t want something. Saying no is a big thing we forget we can do. It is important to practice saying no when it could be something that hurts you and understanding its okay to yes to doing things that benefit you.
Someone who does not value themselves tolerates mistreatment and settles for things that hurt her. She may have low self esteem and feel worthless or undeserving of good things. This feeling comes from a belief system of not being worthy or deserving. And this belief system comes from the things she tells her self consciously and subconsciously.
Telling yourself you are not worth much attracts sleaze balls and unwanted things in your life. A high value woman tells her self she is worthy of the things she wants and then attracts them. The reason this is because she genuinely believes she is deserving of those things and then makes choices based off of those beliefs.
So as a high value woman it is important you know your worth and what you are deserving of. Not only that but not compromising your worth. Compromise things, compromise in your relationships but never compromise your value.
As a high value woman you are worth a good relationship, you are worth a nice job, you are worthy of having the things you want. You are deserving of having the life you want. High value woman believe it and they do not settle for less.
The balance of being independent and asking for help can be a tricky one! When we ask for too much help then we start to become dependent on others and loose the ability to do things for our self. We can become helpless and give our power away.
When we are too independent then we loose touch with others, become overwhelmed and unhappy, and take away from experiences where you could grow and have support/help. We need a combination of both in our life. This is something I would say both sexes struggle with equally.
Go about your life taking care of yourself. If you can do something on your own then do it! When you hit a fork in the road, you feel like you don’t know what to do, or you’re struggling so bad it is affecting your mental and physical health please ask for help! We can’t have all the answers or always know what to do. Sometimes we need help. People can help us see other perspectives we maybe don’t see or have a different answer to handling something.
This can be confused with playing games. Playing games is more about not being straight forward or dancing around topics or pushing and pulling. That could eventually loose someones interest. You don’t want to be considered a game player.
Having mystery means you don’t reveal all your information at once. You start off with revealing some things and as time goes on you reveal more and more slowly. Deeper information is something that should be earned by others. So when people that you are not close with ask you a question you answer with a simple answer rather than revealing all your cards.
Mystery is exciting and leaves people wanting to know more. This makes you valuable because there’s something about you that they just can’t put their finger on but you always leave them wanting more. They like what they see so far but they want to keep getting to know more about you. We all like puzzles and mystery and don’t like when we can’t figure something out. This is something that also applies to men as well but woman tend to be bigger talkers and reveal things too quickly.
We as woman always have a lot going on in our minds and can be rather expressive about it. We need to talk things out and if we don’t get to, it can build in our head causing what looks like a massive emotional explosion. This is why we may express our anger or sadness in irrational ways.
When we get emotional and express it in a irrational way that is considered a reaction. A response is preventing ones self from reacting and having a more gathered thought of what it is that is bothering her and what it is that she wants to happen. Reactions are out of emotion but a response is thinking before doing.
A high value woman may still have those times so it is not a matter of being perfect about it. It is a matter of trying to respond more than reacting. A high value woman will try to express herself or take time aside to gather what it is she is feeling before exploding. This is also a good tool for men but woman tend to deal with this more.
So here you have it, 10 traits of a high value woman! There are of course others but these are the ones I felt were top 10. When it comes to being a high value person you do not have to be perfect. It is just a guideline to go by of what is desirable. You are fabulous flaws and all!
What do you guys think? Do you share some traits of a high value woman? Do you have more to add? Leave it all in the comments below!
1 Comment
[…] of my series on high value men/women. If you have not read the first part I would suggest going here first. Even if you are not a woman it can help you see what type of women you want in your life. I […]