The Blame Game

I always see things going around social media that basically say things like “true friends never leave and if they left they were never down for you.” And I always wonder did they leave because they were a bad friend or did they leave because the person reposting that did something? So often we blame everyone else for things and give our power away to change things. You and your friend had a fight? Their fault. You’ve become a bad person? Your parents and your bad childhoods fault.

Taking Accountability For Our Actions

Owning up to our wrongdoings can be so hard. Once we admit it’s our fault we can’t blame anyone. We caused it, we did it. We didn’t reach a goal its someone else’s fault. Life isn’t going our way it’s the world’s fault. It just feels easier saying its’s everyone else but us that is the problem.

So often I hear bad behavior blamed on bad childhoods. Yes, it sucks that you had a bad childhood and you may not know any better. The moment you became aware, that is now your responsibility to change. Any actions you do as an adult are yours and yours alone. If you grew up thinking that stealing was okay and you have come to find out stealing is wrong and you are still doing it, that’s on you. It is now your responsibility to take ownership and endure the consequences. It is not your parent’s fault anymore.

Bad things that happen to us in our lives could be an explanation of why we developed into the person we are today, but it isn’t an excuse. Don’t victimize yourself like that. That completely gives your control and power away so that you don’t have to face your consequences. How can things ever change if you never look at yourself and own up to where you are wrong?

If you got in a fight with someone it isn’t just solely their fault. It takes two to tango. Realize what part you had in it. Where did you go wrong? What things could you work on? Don’t just blame and only focus on their wrongdoings. Always look at yourself first before pointing the finger. And admit where you’ve gone wrong and what you could have done better. The minute we start looking at ourselves when things happen and take accountability is the minute our lives become better. We can’t control what other people do but we can control ourselves.

Taking Too Much Responsibility

Now some people have the opposite problem. Usually, they will blame themselves excessively and it’s often abused and unconfident people that do this. Sometimes people genuinely do bad things and it isn’t your fault. If someone steals from you, that isn’t your fault. When we get taken advantage of, it although we learn for next time, it isn’t our fault. When people leave us, sometimes it’s because of things we are doing and sometimes its because of the other person just isn’t good for you.

Don’t let people manipulate you in relationships and always make you think everything is your fault. Unless of course you acted alone and it actually is solely your fault. Majority of times you have your part and they have theirs. You are not responsible for other people, you can only be responsible for yourself. So understand you do have your part in things, but they have theirs as well.

How Do You Fix This?

When there is a situation, take a step back and really evaluate it. Hear what the person or people around you are saying. Take everything they are saying into consideration. Am I doing this? Am I doing that? Look at yourself and what you feel you have done wrong. If you feel you can’t see what the people are saying and don’t feel the same way that’s okay. You don’t have to agree with everything everyone is saying about you because sometimes people don’t have your best interest. The people who care and love you usually do, so value a trusted friend or family member. Still, if there is a situation going on, you are doing something as well as the other person, so figure it out. That way you can fix it so it won’t happen again and life can go back to being great. Bottom line is, next time you want to post things about people leaving your life, take a step back and think, is it something you did or did they really just leave?

“Your happiness depends on your self-reliance, to take responsiblity for your life, regardless of who had a hand in making it the way it is now. It’s about beiung the hero of your life, not the victim.-John Reyes”

So next time life isn’t going your way, try not to sit and think who’s fault it is or who to blame. Sit and really think about what you are doing or what the consequences of your actions are doing in your life. You are the one that can improve your life by first taking responsibility. Don’t just sit around waiting for things. Take on the responsibility and do it yourself!

Leave comments below of your opinions and thoughts on self-responsibility! Do you have too much or too little? Do you think it’s important we take ownership of ourselves?

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