Self Hatred

Self-hatred is one of the worst personal struggles one can go through. If you hate yourself, how can you love anyone else? There are so many reasons one may hate themselves. Whether it’s from a mistake they made they can’t get passed or they were taught to hate themselves or it’s something else. If you are the first person to make a negative comment about someone else that is a sign you have self-hatred. People who are secure in themselves don’t feel the need to put others down.

I have personally struggled with such hatred towards myself, I isolated myself because I didn’t want anyone to have to be around such garbage. Growing up I was taught I was an awful person and I lived my life that way. I hated me. I deserved nothing but pure torment. The same tune would play in my head letting me know how much I sucked, everything that was wrong with me. Sometimes I was an awful person and I said mean things but no one deserves to feel hatred towards themselves. The kind of burden that you have to deal with when you feel hate towards yourself is too much. How do you know if you or someone you know struggles with self-hatred?

Signs Of Self-Hatred

• Make negative comments about others and want to see others suffer
• Low self-worth
• Constantly find yourself putting yourself down and saying awful things to self
•  Self-harm
• May have enhanced ego to protect self from the outside worlds negative comments
• Anger
• Very sensitive to criticism

How Do You Tackle Self-Hatred?

Face Your Pain

What is hurting you right now? Why do you hate yourself so much? Really dig deep and ask those difficult questions and figure where is this self-hatred coming from. Is someone making you feel like you should hate yourself? Are you making choices in your life to cause you to hate yourself? Sit down and talk with a trusted friend family member or therapist. You could even write it out. If you have built up a wall to protect yourself, try to take it down and try to be vulnerable. I know being vulnerable can be scary but hating yourself is so much worse.

Have Compassion For Yourself

Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? Probably not because if you did, you most likely would not have that friend anymore. You are hurting and you need love and support right now not hatred. Give yourself the empathy that you may give to someone else in the same situation. They say resentment comes from lack of compassion for yourself. After you face your pain it will make you feel sad enough that you want to do something about it. Find ways to care and comfort yourself.

Forgive Yourself

Is there something you may have done that you are having a hard time forgiving yourself for? Did you make a mistake that you are paying for? Are you maybe doing the same things over and over and getting angry at yourself? It’s okay we all make mistakes. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Forgive yourself. Look in the mirror and admit what happened or what you did and let yourself know you forgive yourself. You can’t move forward until you acknowledge and forgive.

List All The Good Things About Yourself

No one just possesses all bad qualities. There’s good in you. Get out your handy dandy notebook and write the good you possess. And again if you struggle with this ask a trusted person in your life to help you. It may be hard to see it because you think so low of yourself but really think. Even if it starts small like you feed the cat across the street. That shows you are caring and giving.

Write Out Your Flaws and How You Can Work On Them

Now don’t start bashing yourself calling yourself names. That is not what this is about. This is for self-improvement. What are things you can work on? Who do you want to see yourself become? Maybe you blurt mean things out sometimes. It can be worked on. Maybe you are too judgemental. Try to put yourself in other’s shoes. Allow yourself to first accept these things and that they are something you struggle with. You are not doomed forever. Some flaws you may have to just accept and move on. Most flaws can be worked on but it can’t be worked on if you just put up a shield or put yourself down before even trying.. That’s how you stay in hatred. Say out loud every day the traits you would like to have. As time goes on and you work on them you’ll be that trait.

Punch It Out

Exercise is a really good outlet to get through so many things. Something that really helps is taking your list of flaws and then yelling them out loud and punch a punching bag or pillow. Releasing that negativity you build in your head. You will find yourself feeling so much better and relieved. Please love yourself and let yourself be loved.

Self-love is idolatry, self-hatred is a tradgedy- Elizabeth Hardwick

It does not matter who you are or what has happened, nobody deserves to walk around filled with anger or hatred especially if it’s towards themselves. We can’t have good, healthy relationships with others if we don’t have one with ourselves. You are worthy of all the things you desire in life especially to be cared for and to be loved.

Leave a comment below of your experience with self-hatred whether it was towards your self or someone close is suffering. And leave any tips for others that you find helpful!

*Disclaimer- All opinions in my posts are my own and you should go to your nearest therapist for a professional opinion and proper diagnosis. I can not guarantee anything you read is accurate or complete. Do not use anything in these posts to diagnose yourself and others. Anything you use off of this site is strictly your responsibility and by using this site you are agreeing to and acknowledging that. Use anything at your own risk.