This is the second part of my series on high value men/women. If you have not read the first part I would suggest going here first. Even if you are not a woman it can help you see what type of women you want in your life. I also talk about what it means to be a high value person and why you would want to be one.
Like I said in the first part, there are some overlaps when it comes to the high value men and woman so I have mentioned some traits that fit both. If you see a trait in the high value of a woman post that you need in your life, use it!
But there are some things men tend to struggle with more than woman and vice versa. Woman tend to want to talk things out and react out of strong emotions more while men bury their emotions and try to be more fixers. Now like I said that does not mean that every man is the same nor is every woman the same. There can be women that are fixers and men that are emotional reactors. Keep that in mind when I am addressing these high value traits. So what does a high value man look like?
Just like I had mentioned in high value women, people who value themselves value their health, their needs and they way they present themselves. You want to not only feel good about yourself but also attract similar like minded people.
High value men shower regularly, get a haircut, smell nice, care how they present themselves, stand straight, eat better, exercise, and take care of their health. All the things that show you care for yourself.
Something a lot of men struggle with is wanting to please their loved ones and then making promises but not always following through. Their intentions are good but they may not be able to make it happen. That is why it is important that when you say something you mean it.
Make sure you don’t just say things to make others happy or get others off your back. You want to hold yourself accountable and only do things that you know you can follow through on. If you don’t you can easily become a disappointment or someone who is untrustworthy. Your words will become empty promises or you will become “the liar”. Before committing to something make sure it is something that you know you will be able to follow through on.
This is not just when saying good things but also with negative consequences as well. If you tell someone you don’t want to talk to them anymore because they mistreat you, make sure you stick with what you’re saying. When we don’t follow through we tend to get disrespected more or people will take you like a joke and not seriously.
Someone who is not self aware or doesn’t care will act based on surface level needs. They will ghost people, do things and not be clear about what it is they are doing or what they want and are not entirely sure of their intentions. They become reckless disappointments and can become filled with hurt and resentment. This can cause a feedback loop of bad decisions and then feeling bad about oneself.
A high value man will first think about what it is that they want/need, this will then become clear on what it is that their intentions are, then make decisions based on those things and be clear in their motive. This is what self awareness looks like.
This is not only respectful but also helps you prevent heartbreak, pain or even hurting others. Being clear on your intentions and communicating this to others helps you get what you want.
Earlier I had mentioned that women can be more of the talkers and men can have a hard time communicating. This can lead to dry conversations and awkward encounters. It is important conversations feel like a 50/50 effort. They will not always be as sometimes we may need to listen more than talk or talk more than listen but generally they are.
A one on one conversation is basically person A makes a comment or asks a question and then that other person, person B answers. When person b is answering, person A is then listening to what that person is saying and makes a comment or asks questions based on what that person is saying. Then it becomes a back and forth! The answers are usually in the other persons statements.
High value men act interested, listen, be present and attentive. They know without this skill it is hard to talk to anyone or get to know anyone and that is a rather lonely life!
This goes along with what I was saying above. This is important when it comes to having good relations with others. Listening is something you hear often that people don’t practice a lot. We focus on what we want to say or how to respond rather than listening to what the person is actually saying. The ones around us don’t feel understood or acknowledged and then we get irritated because we think we are listening when we really are not.
It can be hard to listen because sometimes we get stuck in our head of what is the right thing to say or thinking “can I say this?” or negative thoughts like “no one cares what I have to say/ I don’t know what to say to that! I’m not interesting.” or you may even tune them out like when you are hearing a nagging wife/husband or mother. Try to get out of your head and listen rather than thinking of what to say next or trying to avoid it.
Being a good listener helps you in all scales of life. It helps you to do better in your career, have better more successful relationships and helps people feel heard which in turn better helps you. This means less likely dealing with nagging!
You don’t always have to have the answers. Just try listening first. Then you will know what to say or do.
Confidence is something that we all struggle with male or female. We all have insecurities and it can be hard to feel confident in our skin sometimes. Especially being a male where in society you have pressure where you are expected to ask the ones you are interested in out or expected to always be confident no matter what the situation. That can cause us to feel more insecure and feel bad about ourselves!
Another thing to keep in mind is that Confidence is something that could easily be confused with being cocky. When you are cocky you think you know everything and it can come off in a rude way. Confidence is a feeling or belief in yourself that you can achieve something. It is not feeling the need to seek approval from others because you first seek approval from yourself.
So what I want you to keep in mind is, it is not important to be confident for another girl/guy or because society tells you to. Confidence is solely for you to help you feel better about yourself in your everyday life and how you deal with people/life situations. It is an added bonus that it attracts people to you. High value men get that.
We all have been there where we struggled with our self worth and dealt with things that we shouldn’t have had to. When we struggle with self worth, we tend to open the doors to mistreatment and tolerate that treatment longer than we would if we knew our self worth. This causes us to settle for less than what we deserve.
We may wind up in bad work situations, toxic relationships, and/or awful living situations. Being around bad situations can make us feel like that’s what we deserve or that is what we are worth. It is not what you deserve or what you are worth. It is a result of making decisions based on feeling less than.
High value men know they are worth the things they want like love, support, companionship, success, and good things. They have the belief system that they are worth these things and they can make a change no matter what their circumstances. And because of that, they don’t feel the need to accept less than. It is okay to compromise things in life but it is never okay to compromise your worth or value. Know what you are bringing to the table so you know what you are worth getting back.
In society we are taught that men shouldn’t have emotions and that is a girl thing or it is for babies. Not only is this wrong but it hurts our men and their ability to feel like they can have emotions, be able to express their own emotions and even hurts their ability to have empathy. When we dismiss our emotions it turns into anger, lack of self awareness and depression.
The dismissal and suppression of emotions also causes us to not understand our feelings or understand others. Its harder to communicate our wants and needs and then we feel misunderstood or like our needs are not being met. This can turn into more anger and depression. And again hurts your empathy for yourself/others and your ability to self sooth/handle these emotions.
High value men don’t say emotions are for girls, they allow themselves to have emotions. There is no dismissal of these emotions or putting themselves down for it. They cry if they need to and allow other people to have their emotions as well. Emotions are not something they run away from. They accept that having and showing emotions is a vital part of life that helps us grow and learn. We are better able to get past the negative times easier, we can help be there for others and we are aware of our wants and needs easier.
Because men can have a hard time dealing with difficult things from struggling with their emotions, they also may want to avoid or run from difficult situations. So at the first sign of trouble they may feel like they need to jump ship.
High Value men know there are going to be difficult times in life and they embrace those moments. They are supportive. There are moments when you do need to leave situations but those are when you are around toxic people not necessarily when a difficult situation arises. There are always going to be hard times in life, you can’t escape that. The thing you do have control over is who you choose to go through the difficult times with. You deem who and what is worth it.
Honesty is something we all value but can have a hard time being. Honesty can be scary because we are being vulnerable and sharing our genuine thoughts and opinions. That is why it can be easier to just yes people to death just so you don’t have to deal with the consequences. While that may be easier it can be hurtful to you and your relationships. You could end up in situations you don’t want to be in or enable unhealthy relationships.
A high value man is someone who is not only honest but is also willing to say no to things that are not good for them. Not being passive or being aggressive but being assertive. This means you speak your mind in a respectful honest manner without being passive or aggressive. Just straight to the point. You accept the consequences that comes with being honest and you handle it by understanding it is okay to have differences or knowing that sometimes you will let others down and it is not your job to please everyone.
So there you have it! Here are the traits of high value men and woman. Just remember it is not your job to be perfect. These are just guidelines to follow to help you become a happier healthier you!
What do you guys think? What traits do you think matter when it comes to high value men and women? Do you feel like you are or know someone with high value traits? Leave it all in the comments below!
