Have you ever had to deal with a Narcissist that keeps doing things to you and blaming you which then causes you to react in a way that you wish you hadn’t? Whether it is reacting by exploding, reacting by becoming someone you aren’t happy about or it just completely ruining your day and making you feel like garbage.
Narcissists will always try to make you responsible for the way they are feeling. They have to target someone to take the responsibility off of themselves. They will try to lash out at you, get a reaction out of you so you look like the bad guy or just play straight up mind games. No matter what, when a Narcissist is hurt or feels wronged there is no way you can rationally have a conversation with them that will get them to stop. That is why it is important to use certain key words or phrases to not give into their abusive words and behavior.
Respond don’t react when dealing with a narcissist. You could walk away and ignore them that is always a possibility but sometimes that isn’t always something you can do. Sometimes walking away can cause more harm if you are in a certain situation where you are trapped and rely on the narcissist. So here are some lines you can say to disarm a raging narcissist.
Narcissists will try to make you responsible for their pain. Remember they are hurt people and in their mind they genuinely are hurting. But the problem is they’re directing it at you or have made something up in their mind and made you at fault.
By saying “I’m sorry you are hurting”, you are not only acknowledging they are hurting and showing compassion but you also are protecting yourself by not reacting and giving into their abusive behavior. Your feelings will go from defensive rage to compassion. And when you feel compassion you are less likely to feel the need to react. Because they are having a personal problem that has nothing to do with you.
Like I said earlier, narcissists are actually feeling the things they are claiming. They believe what they are saying. So by fighting back and telling them it isn’t happening or trying to persuade them other ways, you are just entering a loosing battle. Instead accept this is the way they feel. And you do not have to agree because those are their feelings even if it isn’t reality.
Let go of trying to have a normal dialogue because they are completely incapable. So not only by saying this you are accepting their feelings but you also are accepting that you can’t change the way they feel and you don’t have to agree. Defending yourself will just lead to torment.
Sometimes narcissists will keep going and going and won’t stop badgering you about how little they think of you and what you did to them etc. And it can really get to a person and their self esteem. One way to counteract this is by saying “I am not responsible for your feelings.” It helps you to deal with the comments by not only reminding yourself that you are not responsible for them but also letting your narcissist know you are drawing the line on what they can try to hold you responsible for.
Narcissist can make you feel like you have to defend yourself or your character. By saying this you are releasing the feeling or need to react to the false accusations and giving them less power over you. It lessens their fiery anger as well. Because you really can’t control how they see you.
You have already been charged and convicted and they are not open to hearing your case. Save that energy for something more valuable like your self healing. Let go of that control. Don’t let them take anymore away from you than they already have.
Dealing with a narcissist can be exhausting and draining. It takes a lot to deal with one in your life. But it is easier to deal when you have the coping skills and tools. So like I said earlier when in those difficult situations always respond don’t react when dealing with a narcissist. Don’t give them more ammo. And over time it will change the way you interact with your narcissist and there will be less blow ups and abusive behaviors.
What do you guys think? Do you think these will work for you? What lines have worked for you? Leave it all in the comments below!
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