In my last post, I shared my personal experiences with obsessive thoughts and the compulsions that come with it. I’m sure you are like okay we saw what it is, we saw your experience…now what do you do about it? Don’t worry I got you on this one! So how are some ways to deal with obsessing?
Let me tell you something, education is one of the best things out there. It saves lives, it helps us in all circumstance of life. When something’s up in my life I research! I educate myself as much as possible. And that’s what I did I researched. I looked up “why the hell am I trying to kill people?” And Google was like because you’re a psychopath. Lol just kidding. It brought up intrusive thoughts. So I learned what they were.
One question that really helped me was “do you like these thoughts?” If you like thinking about killing people and get pleasure then please go to your nearest therapist. If you would cry to never have these thoughts then don’t worry you’re just having intrusive thoughts! You’re still a little mental but not the really mental going to go to jail kind of mental;) and trust me I would obsess and think wait what if I like these thoughts? Trust your actions. You clearly are trying to get rid of them and having anxiety thinking of these things. You probably would do anything to just live a normal life so they would go away. So if you’re struggling really research about what’s going on.
Something else I learned about to get past my obsession was exposure therapy.
Wikipedia defines exposure therapy as “a technique in behavior therapy thought to help treat anxiety disorders. Exposure therapy involves exposing the target patient to the anxiety source or its context without the intention to cause any danger. Doing so is thought to help them overcome their anxiety or distress.”
So basically if you’re afraid of cleaners like I was, you slowly expose yourself to cleaners more and more until you aren’t afraid anymore. Think about something you’re afraid of. Maybe it’s death, maybe it’s airplanes, maybe it’s dogs, You probably aren’t exposed to that thing enough to make you not afraid of it. Your fight or flight kicks in and every time you get close to that fear you back away or feel like you need to escape or you freeze. Your mind thinks you’re in danger when you most likely are not at all.
This works for anything, not just OCD! Any type of anxiety or fear. It’s especially good for specific types of fears like a common one emetophobia ( fear of throw up.) For a period of time, I convinced myself I was someone that could go into anaphylaxis. I took out all foods that are considered highly allergic foods like eggs, nuts, shellfish etc. I lost a lot of weight and finally one day I was like no I’m not going to live like this anymore so I took out my exposure therapy tool out of my brain and as time went on little by little I would expose myself. It took a couple years to expose myself little by little but here we are. I’m eating my worst fears again.
Try it out! Expose yourself little by little to the thing you’re afraid of. If you’re afraid of knives, go near knives if you’re afraid of glass doors, go near glass doors! If you need to wash your dishes before you use them don’t wash it! While you’re doing this it’s important to have neutral or positive thoughts because you could hurt yourself if you have a meltdown and hurt your progress.
Don’t let your thoughts control you, they’re just thoughts. You’re in control! When I say neutral or positive thoughts, I mean remember you aren’t in danger, you aren’t going to die by exposing yourself. The only way to get past this is by breaking the rituals and dealing with the thoughts. We have rituals to avoid the obsessive thoughts. The only way to break the pattern is by doing something different. And don’t stress about being perfect. Sometimes you’re going to have bad days where you perform all your rituals and you say screw you exposure therapy. It’s important that you get back up and try again another day. Don’t be afraid of failure it’s part of recovery.
If you’re having obsessive thoughts, redirect your thoughts. I wrote a post on redirecting Thoughts which you can read here. Ever have someone tell you to not think about white polar bears and then white polar bears won’t stop popping up? The same thing applies to “Did I leave the stove on? I need to stop thinking about this” Acknowledge that, that thought exists and then give your attention to something else whether it’s what you’re doing or maybe if you’re around loved ones. Let it go. That doesn’t mean obsessively tell yourself to stop thinking about it. That would make things worse. The more you try to obsess about making your thoughts go, the more they’re going to flutter to the surface.
Focus on the now is a type of mindfulness meditation. It just means bringing your thoughts back to the present. Basically, if you’re washing dishes focus on washing dishes. Direct your thoughts on what you’re doing, feel yourself washing the dish and be in the moment. Ask yourself what are you doing and go through each moment. “ I am moving my sponge on my dish and scrubbing lasagna off a plate.” Be in the now. That’s something that’s hard with obsessive thoughts. Our minds are going a mile a minute obsessing about the same thing over and over or trying not to think about it. The more you try not to think of something the more your mind will bring it up and force you to face it. There’s other types of meditation you can look into as well that help with mindfulness.
I know it’s easier said than done. Actually, all of this is. Especially when your minds going a mile a minute. Try to be as positive as you can. It makes your path towards healthy behaviors and thoughts easier than if you’re always telling yourself you’re a hopeless cause that can never shake this. You can get through this and you will! It may take longer than you’d like but it will happen if you keep at it! Remember you would do anything to not think these thoughts, one of the reasons they keep repeating is because you don’t want them to and wish they would go away. That forces them to come out more. Just be calm, positive and patient. Be kind to yourself as you would a friend. It can get better.
Have you ever stopped an obsessive thought midway and said: “wait is thinking this really going to change the outcome of what will happen?” Think of it this way, you most likely did not do the thing you’re obsessing about. You’re more afraid you did something or didn’t do something then it actually happening or more afraid of it happening then the possibility of it actually happening. That was a tongue twister. But challenge it, would something bad really happen if you did not touch the doorknob? Do you really have that kind of power?
when I say charity it doesn’t mean to use all of your paychecks on the homeless. I mean physically throw yourself into a girl named charity. Lol no, just seeing if I still have your attention :p It could be as simple as giving your time to the soup kitchen or helping a neighbor mow their lawn, help a friend do their hair. Maybe even get a pet. Helping others not only make you feel good but it helps you to not just focus on your own problems. It makes you think about someone else’s so you can get a break from your own! It doesn’t hurt that the next time you’re in need people will be more likely to want to help you too!
This is some tough stuff! And you do not deserve to be alone. Whether you tell someone online, tell your neighbor or you tell a loved one. Tell someone!! Well, I suggest telling someone you trust because I mean a stranger may look at you bugged eye like “I did not wake up today to hear all of this.” Get help you don’t deserve to suffer for even a second alone. There’s help out there. You are not crazy, you aren’t the only one.
I really was alone a lot and didn’t really tell much of anyone what was going on. One of the first people I told outside of my boyfriend was my cousin and guess what? She actually experienced the same exact thing as me! She was just in a different place on her recovery than I was but we helped each other! Her seeing my journey helped her and she helped me by telling me her journey and what she did. It’s more common than you think. Also, reach out to a therapist if you feel you are struggling and need that extra support. We are all here to help each other. And they have been trained to help with these circumstances. Medicine also can be a big helping factor if you feel like you need it. You aren’t a failuare if you need outside help.
Today I am not 100% healed but I am not as bad as I was when I was 19. I am not scared of cleaners, I am not scared of pills. Sometimes the thoughts come by but they go by much quicker and I can control the urges easier. I still sometimes struggle with thoughts of killing, but they come to me a lot less and I am able to redirect easier.
Or I’ll struggle sometimes with checking and contamination. I am an obsessive person by nature. Sometimes I’ll ask obsessive questions or I’ll say things obsessively. And those are things I still work on. I expose myself and challenge myself all the time. This is not a death sentence. It’s not a get rid of it one time. It’s something you’ll have to work on. You WILL get through it. If I can get through it you sure as hell can too. It is another struggle that makes you who you are and another lesson learned in life.
In the last part of this series, I’ll be talking about how loved ones can help a sufferer.
Leave your comments below about your experiences or if you feel other things are helpful to conquer OCD!
*Although I have studied and experienced these things myself I am no way a professional or have my social work license. All opinions in my posts are my own and you should go to your nearest therapist for a professional opinion and proper diagnosis. Do not use anything in these posts to diagnose yourself and others. Use at your own risk.
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