Ever feel like bad things keep happening to you or that you are stuck in a state of being negative? Do you feel like any coping mechanisms or tools you try, like the ones on this blog don’t work or stick for you? You just keep noticing yourself staying negative or going back to those old patterns. That shows you may be addicted to negativity.
If you grow up in a toxic home, an abusive home, or a negative home that is all you know. It is familiar to you. So your learned coping mechanism was to be negative. You were taught to think in a negative way, think worst-case scenario, think nothing goes your way or the world is out to get you. This is the way your brain was wired. And that is how you got by all these years, with this type of thinking. You not only don’t know any other way to think but also it is your core belief..that everything is negative. So let’s get into the multiple deeper reasons of why you may be addicted to negativity.
Your core belief is that you are deserving of all the bad things that are happening. In your upbringing you were made to believe you were deserving of all those bad things that were happening to you. Especially when you are a young child that can’t reason things, you think you are at fault as to why bad things are happening. So your core beliefs are that ” I deserve these bad things because maybe if I was a better child or person, these things would not happen to me.”
This is the belief that you take with you and is your subconscious. And because of that this then causes you to make choices based off of this belief. So you may think things are happening to you because you think you deserve it but in reality what is happening is you are making unhealthy decisions for yourself.
Now there are things that are never your fault like loosing someone or health issues but there are things that happen based on your choices. For instance lets say you are very panicky and you keep getting into car accident because you are driving when you are under distress and emotional. Maybe you keep making decisions based off of your fears/anxieties of what could happen. That then will cause you to be in bad positions. Or surronding yourself around people that make you miserable.
If you take a look at your decisions you may notice a pattern of unhealthy decisions you have made for yourself. So it starts with the core beliefs which are that you are undeserving, unworthy and everything just sucks or everything negative seems to happen to you.
Like I had mentioned earlier, negativity is something that is familiar to you. We as humans stick to familiarity. It is not scary to already be in negativity. It is terrifying to go from being happy to potentially going back to misery. You are used to that negative self-talk, you are used to being around negative things, you are used to expecting the worst.
It is terrifying thinking your life could go better, especially when you have survived all these years based on negativity. You think going based off of your negative or fear-based thoughts that it has helped you. So you will stay in that mind frame because that’s how you survived for so long and it has become a security blanket that you are having a hard time letting go of.
If you are not actively trying to do things differently, you don’t genuinely want to change or believe you can change. We as humans don’t change until we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. So if you are trapped in your negativity, that shows maybe you are not sick and tired of being sick and tired yet. You still feel like you need that security blanket.
You are so afraid of not being in negativity because you’re so afraid of what is outside that negativity. The fact that good things can actually happen to you.That you can actually have a better life than what you have now. That addiction to negativity, the feeling that you are deserving of that negativity is sticking with you. you are not able to have the life you want because you are not ready to take the next step.
You may be trying to punish yourself for past things, past embarrassments, past things you have said or done. Every time you think about it, you are reliving it, punishing yourself and beating yourself up. You may be addicted to that because you do not feel like you are deserving of forgiveness or letting yourself off the hook from those past mistakes.
It is also a form of control. When you think about it over and over again, you are then thinking about how you wish it happened or the things you would have done differently. You just sit in these thoughts. And the way you cope and handle it is to constantly think about it and remind yourself how negative it was. You then feel like you are drowning in this negativity and it is your way of feeling in control. You feel more in control by obsessively thinking about the negativity or the negative things that have happened.
You may be stuck in your negative thoughts because you are trying to find a way to make yourself feel better. You ruminate on situations to validate that it was not that bad or think of how it could have gone worse or maybe it was not that bad. Although your goal is to make yourself feel better, it is keeping you stuck in the feedback loop of staying in a negative state of mind.
The first thing is you need to genuinely want to stop being stuck in this negativity. You need to make the decisions that you want to change. And only you alone can make that decision for you. If you don’t decide that you want to stop being negative then you can’t even start.
Everyone can give you all the tools in the world but if you don’t be the one that decides to change or put in the effort then it won’t stop. So the first thing to do is to make the commitment and tell yourself you want to stop being negative, you want to apply the tools and you want to help yourself.
Then once you decide you’re ready for change then you can start to apply the tools and be less negative. Now you understand why you can’t stop, now you need to recognize when you’re trying to go back to your old habits and work on your self talk and beliefs. You need to say to yourself ” I need to stop being stuck in this negativity and stop being afraid of positive things. I am not deserving of bad things.” You need to change your core beliefs.
It will be a struggle at first. But you can do it. I know you can do it, you need to believe that you can do it. You need to fight that negative voice but also understand you’re allowed to be negative. There needs to be a time limit though. Staying in negativity is counterproductive. You need to change your self-talk and change your core beliefs.
What do you guys think? Leave it all the comments below!
