Depression is such a serious and debilitating illness. It has many faces. There are people that are smiling on the outside but feel like they are dying on the inside. Then there are people that just can not get out of bed or face the day. Every day is different for everyone. One thing for sure is that the severity of depression is based on a scale and it affects everyone so differently. The one thing in common? Feelings of hopelessness, feeling like there is a hole in your soul, wanting to give up and extreme sadness.
Life does not have to remain that way. It may not feel this way but you are in control of your life. No matter what your circumstances. Bad things may be happening to you, bad things may have happened to you, that doesn’t mean it defines you or you are a lost cause. Your brain is lying to you. There is a way out and you have the answers and can do something. Here are some tips to conquer the dreaded depression.
Aside from genetics being a factor in aiding depression, something triggered it. You are not happy with things in your life. Something happened. Thoughts are a big issue in depression. Your thoughts are telling you that you are unloved or unwanted. You feel like a disappointment. Maybe you are or were abused? Mistreated? You hate your job/school, hate the things going on in your life? Maybe your life didn’t turn out the way you had wanted? Maybe there was a major loss?
Whatever it is, you have the capacity to change the coping skills you have and take steps to move forward to do things differently. You may not always be able to change your exact situation at the moment you want but you can always take steps to try to help yourself move in a different direction. And taking the first step of being aware of what is causing this depression can be your beginning to a better life.
Here is the thing, until you are sick and tired of being sick and tired you won’t be open to the change. It is important that you commit to doing things differently and are wanting things to be different. If you are not ready to put in an effort to do things different then what efforts you do put in won’t work because you won’t be fully committed and you will continue to feel that hopeless feeling.
The lovely part of depression is it can make you feel like you can’t make things get better. You may feel drained and it seems too hard to put in the effort or your brain is lying to you and telling you things won’t get better. So you sit there feeling down or even go as far as feeling like the only option is to end it all. That is not the answer.
There was a time you were not like this and there will be a time where you will be better again. It is all up to you and deciding you want to do things different. When you do things different, your brain will follow and see you are trying to make a change. It will fight at first but it just starts with that commitment. Being ready.
One of the biggest if not the biggest issue when it comes to depression is the story we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves that everything sucks, I suck, it will never get better, the world is better off without me, no one cares about me, I should have done this etc. These are not facts but rather negative self talk that is overtaking our minds. And your brain believes anything you tell it, whether good or bad, so you continuously reinforcing these thoughts makes it feel so real and believable.
The first step to overcome this is to take notice. It can be hard to stop it when you are deep into self destructive thoughts so it helps to be aware when it first is happening. It is also important to not try to wish it away or try to prevent it from coming because the more you do that, the stronger it will come. The key is to acknowledge and bring awareness to those thoughts because most likely those thoughts are playing through out your mind without you even realizing it.
After you notice these negative thoughts, recognize that it is just a thought and it does not mean it is a part of you. Try to see this thought without judging it. Ask yourself where is this thought coming from? Why am I saying this to myself? Do I have any proof that backs up my statements? Are these the type of thoughts that I want to welcome in my mind? Writing all of these onto paper really helps to get clarity as well as not allowing it to clog up your mind. And then release the thoughts. Take a deep breath in and take a deep breath out saying “I release you” Or “I am letting you go.”
Then it is time to replace those thoughts. We can’t just release negative thoughts without replacing them. So this is where you come in with positive self talk/affirmations. Fight that voice that tells you otherwise. Remind yourself the good about you. Remember the things you want to try to accomplish in life. What are some positive things about the day? It is important to feel and believe the positive things you are saying to yourself. So close your eyes and imagine feeling it.
I always say journaling is a cheap form of therapy. When you journal you are able to release all your emotions without that worry of judgement. You can get out all of your feelings so you don’t have all those feelings bottled up and just scrambled all over your mind all day. It is a good place to vent.
Not only that but you come to conclusions and realizations about yourself that you had not seen before. Pinpoint what the issues are. This is a place where you can ask yourself what you are feeling and why. You become more self aware. When you become more self aware you start to be able to pin point things that are wrong and then come up with solutions that best benefit you.
It is really important to not suppress your emotions. When we do it comes back later and sometimes even worse. It is healthy to acknowledge those emotions and work through them and feel them. Allow yourself to feel sad, cry, yell, be angry. Don’t dismiss or not allow yourself to feel something. All enotions are valid.
Just as it is healthy to feel those emotions it is equally important to get past them and not allow yourself to wallow in them. That is the difficulty with depression. You just feel so terrible and sad it is hard to get back up. It is important to give yourself the time but then push back at that negative voice trying to force you to stay in the negativity.
I can not tell you how much a gratitude list can really change your day. Focusing on the things you are grateful for shifts your mood from what you don’t have to what you do have. It can be the simplest things like clean water or a bed to sleep in. Think of some things that maybe you are grateful for in your week like you got to go home early from work or you found a dollar on the street! It doesn’t matter how small or simple. Remind yourself and list it so you can see it in front of you. It helps to do it in the morning so it sets the tune of the day.
Setting goals can make us feel more like we have a purpose and makes us feel good because it feels good to feel accomplished. The key to setting goals though is to set them realistically. So start off small. Lets say you have been struggling with self care like brushing your teeth. Set a goal to brush your teeth everyday that week. Then when you accomplish that, you can set it for two times a day. Or how about starting small with some exercising? Another good goal to set is to have a clean area where you stay the most. Clean area helps with having a clearer mind.
Setting mini habits/goals helps when you feel like you have low energy and you are having a hard time being consistent. Then when you get the hang of things or when you feel like you are doing better mentally you can set bigger goals. Don’t be hard on yourself if you mess up, it is okay you can just start again. It does not matter how many times you mess up, it matters that you get back up from that fall.
Having things to look forward to is essential to recovery. A lot of the times we get stuck in the past because we don’t have better things going on in our present day. It could be us stuck on our past bad times or good times. We just go to the past because it is what we know and it is comfort even if it is bad.
Having things going on or things to look forward to brings a purpose or element of excitement in our lives. It can help bring back that feeling of interests in things by just doing things different and doing things you want. Reminding yourself what makes you happy.
Mindfulness is when you are aware of your the present and what is in front of you. This really helps when dealing with anxieties or constant thinking of the past/future. When you are doing that you can bring yourself back to the present and be aware of your surroundings, what you are doing, who you are with, the colors or sounds in front of you, the smells.
It really helps to take mindful walks, especially when you notice your feeling really down or your mind is getting cloudy. If you feel yourself thinking too much, again just gently bring yourself back to present moment. It is really important you don’t be hard on yourself or aggressive. Be gentle.
Mediation is a fantastic tool that helps us retrain our brain. People get confused and think meditation is just closing your eyes and trying to think of nothing for 15 minutes. That sounds terrible and impossible. That definitely is not what meditation is.
Meditation is when you don’t judge or entertain your thoughts but rather acknowledge and then let them pass by. It is helpful with relaxing your body and teaching your brain how to take control of your thoughts rather than it control you. It helps with focus, fear/anxiety, sadness, overthinking and more!
There are different types like binaural beats, focus on your breathing, guided meditations and more. Just find the one that best suits you and do for a minimum of ten minutes a day and watch it change your life!
Dealing with sadness can be such an isolating lonely time. And because of the negative things we tell ourselves like we don’t have anyone or no one cares, we think that and then keep to ourselves. Don’t do that. Tell someone. It is important in your recovery that you have a solid support system. Allow people to have the chance to show you they care. Don’t stop until you find one who cares.
That includes therapy. If you feel like you need deep help then go get your help!
Social media can be a great thing, it also can be equally damaging to our mental health. Study after study has shown the affects of too much social media causing sadness and depression. Social media is like “Bam! In your face. Look at me, look at us. We have it all.”
We can get consumed with seeing people putting out what looks like the perfect life which then makes us feel bad not having that. But that is all that it is. People altering their reality to make it look better than it is, or choosing to show you a certain narrative. It is all editing.
Try to pin point your triggers and who makes you feel bad by following them. It is okay to unfollow or defriend people that cause a negative feeling. Make sure to limit your time on social media as well as staying away from people that trigger those emotions.
If there are people in your life that are making you feel mistreated, miserable, or causing you pain then it is time to move on. Don’t allow anyone to mistreat you even if they are family. You may need to set boundaries or remove them from your life until you are recovered and can handle it better.
We are the company we keep. Sometimes we keep people in our lives out of fear of being alone or keeping them in our lives out of comfort. You are much better off alone and starting over then staying with people that keep you in a depressive state. If you can’t leave or get rid of them right away, you can still set boundaries no matter what situation you are in.
Like I had said earlier, depression causes us to isolate ourselves and feel like no one cares. And above I talk about getting rid of toxic people. So that is why it is necessary to replace those spots with people that you can have healthy happy relationships with.
Fight that negative voice that tells you to stay in bed or not enjoy yourself and go out and socialize with people that bring you joy. New people, loved ones and some different people. This will be easier when you are working on your self talk. Once that is better then you will feel yourself have more energy to socialize.
When we focus on caring for other people, it helps us to focus on our problems less. It can put things in perspective. Not only that but it makes us feel good too! It feels good to give and feel like you are making a difference and to care for something/somebody.
So volunteer for anything that sparks your interest. Even if it is watching someones kids, walking someones dog. It doesn’t have to be the most like volunteering at a soup kitchen. Just something that helps you be involved with something other than your pain.
As my man Hippocrates once said ” Let Food Be thy Medicine.” Food can really help us or really hurt us depending on what it is. We are what we eat. If we eat junk we will feel like junk. If we eat nutrient-dense foods like fruits and vegetables, we will feel more energized and ready to take things on!
The types of foods we eat also affects our thoughts. If we are eating/drinking not the best foods like energy drinks or a lot of alcohol or fast food then we will feel more tired which then makes it easier for negative thoughts to overtake your brain. When we eat healthy brain foods like avocados or nuts, it makes our heads more clear and easier to accomplish things. So be more mindful about drinking more water and what you are putting in your body.
An earlier bedtime and healthy amounts of sleep is really important when recovering from anything. You are recovering from a long battle of extreme sadness, loss, helplessness, and despair. And one of your symptoms may have been more sleep or less sleep. It is important to go to bed early so you can wake up early and do more things to fight off this illness. A chiropractor once told me our bodies recover from the days work starting around 12 am so it is necessary to go to bed before then.
There are a lot of different things to do to get out of depression. Even getting a pet can help. It just can feel like in that moment, there is nothing. But every single thing in life is temporary. Good and bad. It is one of the hardest things to get out of and it takes a lot of work. I know you can do it. If you ever feel like no one cares I care. I Care about you. I really want you to get better and live the life you had always dreamed of. A happy healthy one. So let’s get there! You have the ability inside yourself, just have to start with a belief.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255
What do you guys think? Have any more tips to share? Have you or someone you know gone through depression? Leave it all in the comments below.
