Appreciation means showing admiration and gratefulness. If you are a hard worker, a people pleaser, or a giver you may notice yourself feeling unappreciated a lot. You may go above and beyond for others and feel like it goes unnoticed. It is not that you are looking for anything in return. You just wish for a simple thank you or some type of acknowledgment.
When you are not acknowledged you may notice that feelings of resentment/hurt and feeling undervalued are a common theme in your life. You may wonder “why is it that no one appreciates me?” Here are a couple of reasons why you are feeling unappreciated.
A big thing that causes feelings of unappreciation is by doing things or helping others when they didn’t ask. When you do things for others without them asking, they don’t always appreciate it. That is because as humans we more so remember the times when we asked for something. We remember whether it was taken care of or if it wasn’t taken care of rather than people doing random things we may not have asked for. As the person who is giving, we then feel resentment or unappreciation when we don’t receive an acknowledgment.
You were expecting a certain response. You went out of your way to help someone or do something for someone that you thought would make them happy. But that is not the response you got. They may have given you a simple thanks, didn’t acknowledge it at all or even may have yelled at you for doing what you thought was a nice gesture because they didn’t want your help.
That is not to say you should never do random acts of kindness or never go out of your way to help others. It just means to be more mindful of who you are helping and what you are doing. You maybe need to cut back on overly being helpful and understand what you may deem as helpful, other people may not see it that way. People do not always want your help. If you go out of your way to do something that wasn’t asked, just understand you may not get the response you had hoped for.
As a giver, you may feel that you don’t want anything from others but that is not true. You may not be sure of your wants and needs but you still have them. And because of this, you may not ask for your needs. Or you are sure of your needs but you don’t want to bother anyone.
This thought process then leads you to have feelings of resentment and feeling unappreciated. You may have thoughts like ” I wish they would just know” or “I shouldn’t have to ask.” You have thoughts like this because subconsciously you give out what you wish others would give you. And you expect others to have this same mentality. Unforantly people do not. We all think others think like us but they don’t!
How to help this? Stop expecting people to read your mind. If you want something you need to make it clear and be straight forward. Explore what these needs are if you are unsure and then ask for your needs! They will do it for you not because you are forcing them or because you are a bother but because they care about you and they want to do it. Allow them to feel the same joy of doing something for someone that you do for others. This also shows who is genuine in your life and who is not a friend to you.
Another thing that causes us to feel unappreciated is when we give a lot more in our relationships than we get. In your relationships whether it’s with family, friends, or significant other it is important you feel like it is a give and get back dynamic. If you don’t receive that then it will eventually lead to resentment. You will feel like you are being taken advantage of eventually and resent people for not treating you the way you had wished they would.
Make sure in your relationships they are not just taking from you/you just giving. You want to be around people that ask about your day, show concern for you and give you a helping hand when you really need it. If you notice yourself going out of your way for someone more than they do, then you may need to cut back. Doesn’t mean stop, just cut back and be wiser with what you give to that relationship. This avoids that resentment/disappointment, feeling unappreciated and those high expectations of that person and the relationship. There are obviously circumstances like when people in your life are going through a hard time and they can not reciprocate at that moment. But overall generally your relationships should be give and take.
You may be spending your energy on a lot of different things which may cause you to feel like you are burnt out. Especially if you are investing time in toxic relationships, being in a negative environment or you are an empath. As an empath, you will feel energies and emotions in a more intense way. This leads to easy burnout.
You may feel exhausted, mentally drained, unmotivated and unsupported. It can feel like you don’t have a support system or someone to pick you up when you’re down. When you are doing so many different things in your life especially if you feel like it is for other people and you do not feel like you have your needs met, you will feel burnt out and again unappreciated.
If you are noticing you feel this way or you feel burnt out that means you need to take a look at your life and step back from the negative things/relationships. You may need to set up more boundaries and really take a look at what things are worth your energy. What things can you step back from that is hurting you? What would be healthier for you to invest your time into?
Feeling unappreciated can suck. It feels lonely and sad. At the same time, it is your job to recognize what you are feeling and reevaluate what is going on in your life. You have the power to change this.
What do you guys think? Have you ever felt unappreciated? How do you handle it? Leave it all in the comments below!
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