There are a lot of misconceptions that being cheated on means the one who got cheated on wasn’t good enough. That could not be further from the truth. A cheater has issues within themselves, it has nothing to do with you. You could be the best girlfriend/boyfriend in the world and get cheated on and it’s not your fault. You could lack things they need and get cheated on and it still not be your fault. I know people always say if you don’t give them this or that they’ll go cheat. That still does not justify their cheating or make it your fault. If they leave because you aren’t satisfying their needs that’s a completely different topic. Going outside the relationship is never justified under any circumstances. I’m sure you are wondering well why isn’t it my fault?
Men and women, generally women cheat because they feel neglected, or lack of love, or intimacy or for revenge/being hurt. The easy route is to keep the relationship because most people fear being alone and just get it from outside sources.
If your partner was having thoughts about others, talking to someone else in a romantic way or looking for someone else and didn’t express that to you, that’s their fault. People don’t normally do things out of the blue. It usually is something they’ve been thinking about. They most likely did not communicate with you their feelings of something missing. If they were feeling like something was lacking in your relationship, they should have expressed that to you. If they did express it to you and maybe you were not able to oblige at the time, they could have either waited to get outside help or left. They didn’t, they chose to stay in the relationship and pursue someone else. That’s not your fault.
Some people have issues where they can’t contain themselves. One isn’t good enough, they can’t contain their impulses, or maybe they were shown unhealthy relationships. You could give them everything anyone could ever ask for and you still wouldn’t be good enough for them because of their personal issues, not you. Sometimes in certain situations, the temptation is too high for them to keep it together. That again is 100% on them and their issue, not yours. It’s true that men cheat more than women because of their high testosterone, that still doesn’t mean it’s your fault.
I know its easier said than done. There are so many reasons why people don’t leave relationships and just cheat. Regardless if they were unhappy then they should leave. It doesn’t matter if they claim they love you but just want to mess around with others. That’s not genuine love because when you genuinely love someone their feelings and needs come first. They chose to stay with you and be involved with someone else. How could that possibly be your fault?
If someone cheats on you then the two things they did do is help you not waste any more of your time and help you realize what you don’t deserve. Now you can find someone who can appreciate you for the amazing person you are. I know after being cheated on you feel broken and wonder, am I not loveable? Am I not good enough? Of course, you are! They are the ones who didn’t see your worth and they didn’t value you. When things happen to us like cheating it’s hard not to turn it inwards towards ourselves and ask “what’s wrong with me?” Absolutely nothing because no matter what, no one including you deserves to be cheated on. You are worthy of loyalty, you are worthy of honesty and you are worthy of love. You are the one that determines that.
The person who cheated may try to make it seem like it was your fault and you may keep going over things in your head justifying why they may have done it. It does not matter! They did it, they made the choice. Never let anyone make you feel responsible for their cheating. I’m so sorry that happened to you and I hope you remember It’s NOT your fault.
Let me know about your experiences! Did someone do you dirty? Did you experience a lot of self-blame after being cheated on? Let us know in the comments below!
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