Anxiety is very future based. We don’t have worries about our past, we worry based on our past for the future. You have fears of what is to come, the unknown, uncertainty. Uncertainty is the biggest trigger for anxiety. Or also you’re afraid of it happening again. You remember what it was like in the past so you have fears of experiencing that same thing. So when there is that uncertainty your brain and imagination goes wild with scary scenarios. Your brain is trying to find some sort of certainty or predictability to feel comfortable.
The first thing you want to do is become aware of when you’re anxious and be aware of the thoughts that are going through your head. Ask yourself a lot of questions to get to the root of what exactly is going on. Then what you want to do when you notice you’re anxious about something is get a notebook. Write down worst case scenario or the worst fears that are going through your head. Ask yourself “how likely is it that this thing will happen?” Or you can ask “How does worrying about my situation help me?” This will help you see the reality of your situation.
For instance, let’s say you’re afraid of deadly car accidents, you can look at the statistics to see how unlikely it is to happen as well as things you can do to better prepare yourself. When you see the chance of things not happening, it helps go from your emotional part of your brain reacting to a more rational and logical part of your brain so you can see your reality. You want to challenge, detach and change the story you tell yourself. When you notice you are telling yourself this certain scary story, it’s important to ask yourself how many times has this fear happened?
Instead of telling yourself this whole story how people will laugh at you or you’re going to fail or you’re approaching death. Try to think of different ways that, that scenario could go. It could go negative but it also could go positive. You want to ask yourself which way is it more likely to go. Always look for ways to challenge the story you tell yourself. Change your perspective of the way you see the situation. Instead of thinking it is all going downhill, see it is a stepping stone to help you learn.
You always want to think about what is in your control. You can’t control others, the way you’re perceived, or things outside of yourself. The things you can control are yourself, your interactions, and what you do. When you focus on what you can control it can help you change what you tell yourself. And after you realize that you are just having fear based thoughts, then you want to remind yourself “This is just an insecurity, it is a fear. I have no proof to back up that it will actually happen This is something my mind has created.” This can help dissociate from that fear and associate with the new story.
The reason why these things work is because you are using logic to counteract these fears and you’re changing the way your mind perceives these fears.
Now I understand sometimes our worst fears do happen like we get bad news about a loved one, we form health issues, we have to get scary surgery, etc. And you’re probably like well what do I do now? You were wrong my fears are happening or are about to happen! Of course, you can make sure to be positive and you’ll be okay but something that can help is before you have to deal with this fear is do visualizations on how you will handle it. Your brain does not know the difference between imagination and reality so when you imagine it you feel like it is actually happening. you are actually going through it. Now when you imagine getting through it, it does not feel so scary because you feel like you have actually done it before. you want to visualize yourself handling it like a champ and being calm, cool, collected.
What do you guys think? leave it in the comments below!
