A couple months ago I made a post about the 25 things, I learned by the age of 25. There were so many other things I have learned so I thought I would make a continuation! Here are 18 more things I have learned:
So many people feel unworthy of love or unworthy of help. You are worthy. No matter what.
You will fail. How can anyone learn without failure? Just like fear of rejection, people also have a crippling fear of failing. Expect to fail sometimes and learn from your failures. It’s so much worse when you fail and you do the same thing over and over. You can’t escape failure without losing out on things.
Are you a little confused by that statement? Let me explain. Ever hear the saying when it rains it pours? Or ever feel like one bad thing happens and then bad things continue to happen? I believe when you put out that negative energy of focusing on that bad thing that happened, bad things continue to happen. You are actively thinking negative thoughts and you are putting negative energy out into the universe. It makes you a target for negative things. Now I believe if you really want something and you keep thinking about it and putting it out into the universe it will eventually come true. Because you were actively thinking about it which in turn made you make actions to achieve that goal. Putting positive energy out.
Forgiveness is a hard thing. Without forgiveness unhealthy resentment and grudges take over our lives. People make the mistake of thinking if they tell someone they’ll never forgive them they are hurting them. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person but for ourselves. We are the ones that have to feel the anger and pain every day, not them. It’s drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Forgiveness is a way for them to not control our lives anymore and let go. You don’t have to forget but you can let it go. Something that really helped me was something my aunt said to me. She said if the person who hurt you knew how bad it was going to hurt you would they do it? That really resonated with me because 8 out of 10 times the answer is no. That applies to ourselves too. We can’t be angry at ourselves forever. We have to allow ourselves to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made.
This is actually a Lesson I just recently learned. It is actually the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn because I have that “save the world” mentality. People have to go through their own journeys and you can’t go through them for them. you can be a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand but you can’t protect them from the world or life struggles. Some people learn best by falling on there face multiple times. Let them because they will eventually learn.
At a young age, you will usually hear “stop crying” or “Don’t cry.” That is the beginning of us learning that being anything but happy isn’t okay. You are allowed to be unhappy or upset. You don’t have to be happy or pretend you are happy. The longer you spend time suppressing those emotions the longer it will take to actually be happy. I always wanted to make everyone laugh and be happy so everyone else could be happy but by suppressing my own emotions it made them come out in ugly ways like anger and anxiety. If I would have recognized my emotions I would be able to make people happy while I’m genuinely happy.
Love is a tricky thing. Love is definitely a drug. No matter how much you may want to be loved and to love someone you really can not love anyone until you love yourself. Your insecurities and self-hatred will eventually be passed over to your partner and how you see your partner.
When we have issues, we immediately want to blame someone for it all. We forget to look at ourselves and what we may have done wrong. Self-reflection helps us grow and learn and become better. What did Ido wrong in this situation? What can I do better for next time? If someone suggests something really take what they say into consideration.
People are quick to beat themselves up when they make mistakes as well as having others look down on them. We all make mistakes. We are human. It’s how you come back from those mistakes that are most important. There’s always a new tomorrow and room to grow from your mistakes. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
In the darkest of times, it can be hard to see the light. Even when there are a million things going wrong you can still find at least one thing to be grateful about. Remembering the things we are grateful for helps us feel good and feel more positive about life.
There are so many times in life that we have no idea what we are doing or where we are going and we get so anxious and scared. Or there are times when we find ourselves in situations and we do not know what to do. It’s okay. We learn things as life goes on we don’t have to have the answer for every issue.
How many times have you heard someone say things like “That girl is so outgoing I wish I could be like her.” Well, the only thing that is stopping you is yourself. You have the power to work towards being anything. Why wish when you could actually be it? For instance, being calm is a really important quality to possess to me. So every day I work towards being calm.
If you are someone who isn’t that much into charity work it’s cool, it’s not your thing. You don’t always have to be a mother Theresa though. There are other small ways you can give back like smiling and saying hello when someone walks by, you never know who could need it. You can hold the door open or give a mother with a crying baby on her shoulder an understanding look. And then there are bigger ways like donating your time and money to others. Regardless it’s good for everyone because it makes you feel good, it helps your fellow human and there may be a time when you need that same help.
We are taught by society that being selfish is a negative thing. It’s used as an insult most of the time. Sometimes it is important to be selfish. You can’t give out of an empty wagon. They don’t tell you on the airplane to put your mask on first for no reason. You can’t help or take care of anyone until you are okay first. Then you can worry about everyone else.
Every single relationship in your life takes time and effort. The beginning is always fun and exciting but as that dies problems start to arise. Compromising and communication become stables in your life. Considering your other becomes important. It isn’t always rainbows and sunshine.
Someone could know all the right things to say to you but if their actions are showing the opposite. Believe that first.
This one is a hard one, especially for me. Criticism can make me run away. But without it, I wouldn’t be able to improve as a human. Sometimes it is really helpful and can be a vital thing for our growth as a person.
Life is brutal. Sometimes the best medicine is to laugh. Make jokes when you slip and fall. Laugh with people that tease you, it’s not easy or fun to target someone that doesn’t react. learn to laugh and make life fun even at the worst of times.
