Life has taught me so many valuable things over the years. Yes, I did have to learn things the hard way but I’m grateful for all these lessons. Although, these are not facts. These are just some things I personally learned. So what are some things I learned?
Now this one is a really hard one to follow. Our first response when we feel wronged is to become angry and want to fight back. If someone is being rude when you haven’t done anything that’s more on them than it is on you. They may be having a bad day or is just hating life at the moment. If you are rude back then that just gives them ammo to be ruder and then you just wind up in a fight. But if you are kind when they are rude it takes the wind out of their sail and they don’t have a response back. In turn, they may feel like a jerk. It’s basically redirecting our anger into concern. Try it out, watch the person slowly change.
Now, this doesn’t apply to people who think murder and rape are okay. This applies to people that maybe have a different view than you about how the world should work. Our goal shouldn’t be that everyone should think like us or they are dumb. Or to shove our views down someone’s throat. You can share your opinion and have it and they can share theirs and have theirs. You don’t like people telling you how to think right? We should be able to hear each other’s opinions without getting into heated arguments. And if what you are saying really resonates with the other person maybe they’ll take on some of your ideas and vice versa. Something I try to do is I acknowledge their opinion and then let them know how I think. Usually, that opens a positive conversation to an opening to each other’s opinions.
Every single thing that I have been through in my life I have learned something from it. Whether it was fallouts with people or anxiety attacks. I bet if you look back at the things you have been through you could see the things you have learned or what it taught you. Good and bad. Never stop learning.
You ever notice yourself thinking of the next thing to say in a conversation instead of just listening to what the person is saying? We have all been there. Or instead of listening we try to fix things or come up with solutions. Listening is such a powerful tool that is heard often but neglected. Sometimes we just need to listen and hear what another person is saying. I always try to listen first and recognize when someone is looking for advice or just someone to talk to that will hear them.
Don’t I know this one all too well. You could have your entire life planned out but it will never ever go according to your plan. You cant predict things like money or health or family situations. Life is just too unpredictable. You can read a little about that in my Dealing With Disappointment post. Life just wants you to go with the flow sometimes and take what gets thrown at you and work with it.
Almost everyone has heard that at a young age by someone that life is short. Which is true. There’s been a bunch of times that I thought I was going to die. And I always know that anything I say could be the last thing my loved ones hear. Take risks. Do things you want to do, don’t push it to the side. On your death bed, do you think you’ll be thinking about the number of likes you got on your pictures as a young adult? No, most likely not. You’ll look back and remember the good and bad times. The impressions you left on people or maybe the people you wish you would have left impressions on.
This one goes out to all my perfectionist out there like me. I always had this image in my head of who I wanted to be and I would beat myself up when I didn’t succeed at being like that. That’s completely unfair to yourself. You are okay the way you are, right now. Self-improvement is always a plus but you first have to accept who you are right now before you can move forward and improve. You are good enough.
Having compassion towards not only others but yourself is so important. Imagine yourself being in the other person shoes? what would you want? Now towards yourself. How would you want a friend to treat you? Treat yourself with the same compassion that you would towards a friend. Give love and understanding to others and yourself. A world without compassion would be a cruel one.
Thankfully mental health education has been on the rise as of lately. Without your mental sanity life could not exist. Our world is through our perception. I always say the worst thing in the world is when you are mentally unhealthy. You could be the richest guy with the greatest family but if your mental health is bad, your life is rough. Make sure to always do things to take care of your sanity. Take mental health days, do things that help you mentally and challenge yourself.
This might just be because I am a Libra but life has definitely taught me about the power of balance! It’s good to balance your time with different things. Have balance when it comes to your meals. Balance in your relationships. Most things in life are just better when you balance and finding the balance.
At a young age, we are taught subconsciously that you shouldn’t say no or that saying no is rude. But sometimes we should say no because if we don’t, and always say yes we will be miserable. Of course the opposite applies to some people who always say no and they should say yes more. More so, a lot of people struggle with the guilt of saying no. It is okay to say no if you genuinely do not want to sometimes. We also need to accept when people say no to us. It’s okay for others to say no sometimes, they don’t have to always say yes to us.
It is really important we learn how to do things for ourselves. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to conquer the things in your life. How annoying is it when you have to depend on someone else when you could possibly just do it yourself? I mean basic things like cleaning, laundry, changing a tire, living on your own. I don’t mean treating yourself if your leg got cut off.
As much as it is important to be independent, it is just as important to learn when to ask for help. We are going to need help sometimes. We are social creatures and can not survive without each other. It’s good to be independent but it’s unhealthy if you are only independent and don’t ask for help when you need it. You can not figure all life solutions on your own. There is always help when you ask for it. You are not a failure or weak if you ask for help, it is actually the opposite. Strong people recognize when they are struggling and ask for help.
We have absolutely no idea what others are going through. The girl that has been wearing the same shirt three days in a row can’t afford new clothes or to do her laundry right now. The kid that stutters was bullied really bad and has trouble even attempting to say hello. There have been times where I acted what a stranger would call absurd. Someone who knows me and knows what I’m going through would know I’m hurt or scared etc. You know you do not like to be judged so why do we do it to each other? Just know when someone is acting what you may identify is weird, they are dealing with something you have no idea about.
Bad things happen. People will do bad things to you. And it may cause you to act a certain way. You cant’ blame them for your behavior forever. Okay, we understand why you are doing that thing but now what are you going to do to change that? The moment you become aware that you are in the wrong it is your responsibility to take accountability. Yeah, your parents may have abused you but if you are abusing someone else that is now your responsibility to make a change. Own when you are in the wrong. The minute you own it is the minute you can do something about it. You can’t go your whole life blaming everyone else. Don’t give up that power.
Every single thing in life is temporary. Emotions, bad situations, good situations. So remember when you are having a bad time it may feel like its forever but it won’t last. And cherish the good times because just like bad times they don’t last forever. Life is constant change.
We can’t really control what happens. We can’t always control how someone is going to treat us or how things are going to go in life. But we can control how we react to it and how we respond.
No one will know how you are feeling or what you are thinking until you communicate it to them. There’s always that societal joke where women expect men to read their minds. None of us mind read! We can’t expect people to know what we want no matter how much time you spend with them until you tell them straight up. Reach out. It’s natural to get stuck in your head sometimes, let the people around you know what’s going on. Even if it will start a temporary argument. Its better out than in Shrek always says.
Everyone has flaws. We can get caught up in trying to change our family or friends or significant others. Communicate what bothers you and let them decide if they want to change. If you have a hard time accepting their flaws then it’s time to move on or really look inside yourself why you can’t accept their flaws.
It doesn’t matter if they are family, or friends if someone is causing negativity in your life it’s okay to not have them in your life anymore. If they are causing you to feel bad about yourself or have done bad things to you, let them go. Maybe even a certain relationship brings the worst out of you and you guys do better separately. Let it go. You aren’t wrong for feeling that way.
I believe one of the reasons there is such a high divorce rate is because the moment things get tough people leave. People go through things and we shouldn’t just abandon them at their worst. If they are toxic, yes, by all means, get out. But if they are struggling and need help why just abandon them? Don’t just give up on them because you know you wouldnt want someone to just give up on you.
Rejection is the worst feeling. Getting rejected by people, getting rejected by schools, jobs. The fear of rejection can cripple people. How much worse are what if questions? “What if I did talk to him?’ You could miss out on so many opportunities by not taking chances and letting the fear of rejection get the best of you. Rejection is a little reminder that it wasn’t meant for you and there could be better. If a person rejects you, they helped you by knowing you don’t have to waste your time on them. Same with other things. Don’t let the fear of rejection make your life regretful.
You are you and you are going through your own journey. The people you compare yourself to are dealing with things you don’t even know about. They can have their thing but they don’t bring to the table what you can. There are probably things you have that others wish they had. You can use what others have as motivation to go for it but never think you are less than because of it. You only see what others allow you to see.
If you really put your mind to something you really can accomplish it. I mean realistic things, not things like if I imagine myself as a unicorn I’ll become it. I want to help people and even though I can’t go the route I wanted I still found a way to do it. Do you want something? You need to work hard to get it.
Patience is really helpful during life. Children test our patience, people in general test our patience. I’ve realized when I’m patient I am more careful with things and don’t have as many messes. Things take time nothing is instant gratification. The best things are worth the wait.
So here we go. 25 things I wanted to share. I know it is a lot so if you made it this far thank you!
“Life is so ironic, it takes sadness to know what happiness is, noise to appreciate silence, and abscence to value presence.” -Unkown
Let me know in the comments below some things that you have learned or something you wanted to add!
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[…] couple months ago I made a post about the 25 things, I learned by the age of 25. There were so many other things I have learned so I thought I would make a continuation! Here are […]