It’s 8 Am and your alarm goes off. It’s another day where you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Nothing excites you or makes you happy anymore. You want to run away or sleep until the worst of your life is over. You just want things to get better, you just want to be happy again.
Feelings like you can’t do this anymore overwhelm you. You don’t know how life got this way for you or where you went wrong. You may not even know where to start or feel like things are just too bad to do anything. Mabey you feel completely demotivated and defeated. Life feels more like you are surviving than living.
Why is this happening? Well, things in life just happen. Sometimes it is because of the choices we made and sometimes it is because of unfortunate circumstances. We could sit around all day and try to understand why something is happening to the point where we can’t get an answer but that won’t help much. Every single thing in life can be taken as a lesson, to better yourself or to know how to handle it the next time around. But how? How can you possibly attempt to get back up when you feel like you have been knocked down so many times?
What is it that is making you so happy? Are you unhappy with where your life is heading or the people that are in it? Do you struggle with self-hatred? Do you feel like life just isn’t going your way? Sometimes when we are in a lot of pain, we don’t realize what the source of it is. We will push it to the back of our brain and tell ourselves to just deal with it or neglect what we need to feel. We may not even realize our negative self-talk is a major problem! Whatever it is. Really look at yourself and your life and establish what is hurting you and if its something internally or externally that is hurting you. Allow yourself to feel what is going on. If you need to have a pity party for a little, then have one!
A lot of people get sick and tired of being sick and tired but not everyone wants to do something about it. If you are someone that just wants to complain but not actually do anything then you nor anyone can help you. You take your power away by being helpless. No one can do the work for you, things are not going to magically turn around. We have to actually do something about whatever is going on in order for it to get better. And you are the only one that can determine that. This is the time for you to actively make a commitment to do something about your unhappy life.
Life can just suck. We could just sit around and feel powerless and allow ourselves to drown in life’s sorrows. Or we can take our life by the horns and determine where it is going to go! When we have that victim mentality where things are happening to us and we can’t do anything about it, then it leaves less room for us to be able to make a change and feel empowered to actually do something. Take accountability where you can and use all of your misfortunes for fuel to do better. Fuel so that you never have to feel this way again or if it starts to happen again, you know how to help yourself.
We can’t always do everything on our own. If that were true then we could all go live on our own planets. Humans are social creatures that are meant to rely on one another. Reach out to your best friends, family member, people you can trust. Let them know you are struggling and need support or help. We can’t get help if we don’t ask others for it. Your loved ones would be more than willing to be there for you, it doesn’t hurt to give them a chance. Ask yourself, What is the worst that could happen? They will most likely be sad you are suffering and they did not know.
If you don’t feel like you have a support system you can rely on, find one! Join things like meetup.com #notsponsered. Join a church group or maybe even online chats where you can anonymously spill. Go out and meet people that maybe you can connect with. Read things online or surround yourself with people that make you feel empowered. There is also always therapy! Professional help never hurts and it’s good to get things out and feel validated, maybe even come to some conclusions you didn’t realize! It isn’t healthy to be alone and not have anyone you can feel that support from. We need emotional support especially at our lowest, to get better.
It is good to put a plan in motion so you know what steps to take in order for things to get better. This is where you set your goals and take into action all the things you evaluated about why you are so unhappy. One of the biggest issues when you are in a bad place of your life is negative thoughts and negative self-talk. One thing that can help with that is redirecting thoughts.
If you recognize that people in your life are a problem then cut back on those people being in your life. What are you going to do differently so that way you don’t struggle with feeling done and broken? What are some changes you can make in your life that will make it better? There sometimes are situations where you may be stuck so what are things you can do to either change your situation or change the way you think/handle your situation? Life is constantly changing, nothing is forever. You may be stuck in a situation for a period of time but that does not mean that is how it will be forever. There are always things you can do to better your situation. It is just a matter of finding those things and applying them to your life.
What is the next step(s) in your life so your life can improve? Do you need to find another job? Find a new environment/place to live in? Set some realistic goals to achieve.
You are not going to find your solution to all your problems overnight. It may take some time! The most important part is that you always feel like you are moving forward and have something to look forward to. Take everything one step at a time. It is not a race. You do not have to be in the same place as sally johnson or Tyson green down the block. You move at your own pace in your own time frame. Even if it means you have to start over.
It most likely took you a while to get in the place you are in right now so it may take a little while to get out again. Patience and self-compassion are key right now. When you start to get overwhelmed just remember to take it one step at a time. Start of small.
I know when you are down in the dumps, the last thing you want to do is think about someone else. But that is where you go wrong! Helping others is a two-way street where others get help but it also makes us feel good to be the reason they are doing better. Not only that but when you are focused on someone else it helps us to focus on their problems rather than ours!
That is why it is helpful to get a pet that we have to care for or take on a charitable act. We are focused on that thing or person and trying to help them that it takes us out of our own issues. It is important that it is done in a balanced way where you also are able to work on yourself and are not only helping everyone else. Focusing too much on everyone else isn’t healthy either! But next time an opportunity arises where someone may need you, don’t hesitate to help. Be that shoulder to cry on, give that helping hand, lend out your words of wisdom, share your experiences. It really does feel good to help others as well as makes us feel better about ourselves.
No one can do anything about your life except for you. You can talk to the top experts in the world and nothing they can tell you will do anything unless you do the actual work. You may not have control over what happens in your life or how exactly things are going to go but you are the one who determines how you are going to react to all the things happening. Use these rough moments as ways to empower yourself so you can do better. You got this! No matter how long life has been like this for you or how many times you have tried, there always is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just need to find that light and what works best for you. Dont give up. You are worth everything you work for.
What do you think? What do you do when you feel defeated? Have you been in this situation before and gotten yourself out? Leave it in the comments below!
